Mead Judges and what they really mean ...

The BeeHolder, Summer 2012

Good presentation OK, you can polish a bottle – now work on your mead
Thin Use more honey next time, you tight-fisted ...
Good Condition Shame about the taste
Aggressive on the palate I choked on this one
Peppery Needed a pint of water afterwards
Slightly over-acid Burnt a hole in the show bench
Good farewell Sorry to say goodbye to this one
Good body Still had parts of bees in it
Full-bodied Still had whole bees in it
Cloying Stuck my lips together
Harsh palate Stripped the roof off my mouth
Acetic Best with chips
Well-balanced I could still stand afterwards
Harmonious assemblage I want to marry this one
Gorgeous I get a bit affectionate after tasting all the entries
High alcohol Try using it as paint stripper
Chemical flavours Recommend you use it for clearing the drains
Out of class What part of “dry” don’t you understand?
Medicinal flavours Reminded me of the cough mixture I had as a child.
Second opinion required        Sent to lab for analysis. Report warned "Your horse has diabetes!"

From the Eke (produced by Stuart Ching), courtesy eBEES